01
The Problem
Every day, millions of people board boats in New England.
Every day, zero of them get ejected off the aft deck while wearing a canvas frame designed to displace water.
0
People ejected from boats while wearing canvas exo-skeletons per day (current)
This is a massive gap in the market. Nobody is solving it. Nobody has even identified it as a problem. Until now.
Note: we identified this problem on a sticky note, which is how all important problems are identified.
02
Our Solution
We have a three-part solution. Each part was documented on its own sticky note.
A boat. Named Boaty McBoatface. Has an aft deck. Moves through water.
A canvas exo-skeleton. Displaces water. That's the main thing. The only thing, currently.
An eject mechanism. Located at the aft. Launches customers toward the water at velocity.
⛵
Artist's interpretation
(also the boat's name)
03
Market Size
We operate in one of the most densely populated coastal regions in the United States.
6
States in New England (including Vermont, confirmed landlocked)
14.8M
People in New England (all potential customers)
100%
Of people who haven't been ejected off a boat yet (our TAM)
∞
Sharks currently in the operating area (confirmed by map)
Conservative TAM estimate: $7.4B (assumes every New England resident does it once at $499 Silver tier).
Aggressive TAM estimate: more than that.
04
Why Now
The convergence of three macro trends makes this the right moment to launch Boaty McBoatface Ventures:
The Experience Economy is real. People pay for experiences. Being ejected off a boat is an experience. These facts are connected.
Canvas technology is mature. Canvas has existed for thousands of years. The innovation is the frame. And the eject mechanism. Those are new.
New England shark populations are thriving. This creates urgency. The exo-skeleton becomes even more valuable. Risk is a feature.
Nobody else is doing this. First-mover advantage is total. Competitors: zero. Market share: currently infinite.
05
Traction
One week of development. Four deliverables. Zero manufacturing costs to date.
📝 [Four sticky notes here]
The actual sticky notes exist. Ask us for the photo.
Figure 1: Complete business plan (original, unredacted)
06
The Team
World-class operators with deep domain expertise.
🚢
Tigershark
Founder & Chief Vision Officer
One week of focused market research. Four sticky notes of output. Identified a gap nobody else saw. Primarily because it doesn't exist yet.
👾
Co-Founder & CTO
Converted a text message into a multi-page web experience. Questionable decision-making. Strong execution. You're looking at it.
Board: Jefish, Yagsmir & Asleepcard. Advisory: Open. Regulatory: Optimistic.
07
The Ask
$2,000,000
Seed Round - Convertible Note - No Cap (we tried)
Use of Funds
$1,500,000
Purchase of Boaty McBoatface (the boat). Must be named Boaty McBoatface per term sheet.
$350,000
Canvas procurement and exo-skeleton R&D. The frame needs to be built. Someone needs to do that.
$100,000
The eject mechanism. Engineering TBD. Budget: this.
$40,000
New England operational permits. This includes shark insurance. We don't know if that's a thing.
$10,000
More sticky notes. For the Series A deck.
This is satire. Please don't send money. Unless you really want to send money. We'll buy a boat.
